My Chuunibyou Fantasy is Delusional as Expected
by Estavius
Summary: Hikigaya Hachiman once suffered from a case of Chuunibyou — Eighth Grade Syndrome. Those memories are some of his worst: terribly embarrassing, overly self-confident, and completely delusional. Good thing this new transfer student knows all about it. May be continued in December.


**Crossover with Chuunibyou demo Koi ga Shitai, in which characters are tossed together.**

 **.**

 **My Chuunibyou Fantasy Is Delusional As Expected**

Chuunibyou.

It is a vile illness, one that convinces its victims that they are unique, and never in the wrong. Rather, the rest of the world, society, the unknowing system was at fault for a lack of understanding. _The others_ would never truly perceive the world of which they existed in. _The others_ could never admit to the magics and divine forces at work. _The others_ persisted in thinking thoughts of disdain, without the knowledge of real power.

Or so a Chuuni might think.

A Chuuni would desperately avoid reality, and place deep faith in the belief that they were special. An amazing power yet to be unveiled! A sealed strength of a previous life! An inhumanely unpredictable curse that sapped your innate skills at exactly the right time to foil your plans! In the end, they were all excuses to evade the cold, bitter truth.

A Chuuni isn't someone special, nor are they unique. By simply imagining a world, a realm quite like theirs, they left the responsibility of "standing out" or "achieving great things" to their other self. Rather than becoming someone noteworthy, the Chuuni would flaunt false realities, make-believes, tricks of the light to convince themselves that they already had. A single event was heralded as a sign, and every failure the fault of enemy influence.

In the end, Chuunibyou was escapism, and those affected refused to accept the realization that they were an insignificant hunk of living meat on a gigantic rock in the middle of a void. Their delusions were ways of coping, by telling themselves that despite all the evidence pointing otherwise, they held value. That despite their worthlessness in the grand scheme of the universe, on a planet that would eventually be absorbed into a gradually expanding mass of plasma, they were not to be forgotten.

So, like the steak they were, all Chuuni's should deep fry themselves to unleash their latent power of fleshy human taste.

I, Hikigaya Hachiman, graduated from Chuuni status long ago.

Gone were the days where I thought I was the vessel of the Eternally Absent God with no name, the seventh and most powerful of all the gods.

Gone were the times when I covered myself in my fake fur and overcoat, "battle garments", in preparation for the war that would take the world by storm.

Gone were the weeks of frenzied records, in my Spirit World Diary that had since been… _immolated_.

Gone were the numerous reports to the government of "paranormal" activity that I painstakingly prepared every three months.

I was many things – loner, loser, lone wolf, and outcast. But even I didn't suffer from Chuunibyou, at least not anymore. I had graduated from that alongside middle school, and any lingering delusions of hope for my social life.

Sobu was an academically strong private school and out of my residential area; no one from my middle school would see me there. Sure I had to bike uphill to school every morning, but that was exercise right? Even a loner needed some form of calorie burning… just not training drills and apocalypse preparation. That, I could do the rest of my life without.

Still, I left that vile history in the past. There were no words to describe how glad I was that it was over. Had Yukinoshita learned any more than she already had… it would've been disastrous. I would immediately plummet to Zaimokuza's level, and not only that; all remaining faith in me would be lost. My name would become that of "Hiki-whatsit".

Granted, Yukinoshita already managed to mix up my name on a regular basis, but if her opinion of me dropped any further, the person "Hikigaya Hachiman" would truly be purged from her memory. Or would it? I knew now, that we had some semblance of a relationship, not quite friends, but… maybe more than acquaintances?

Nevertheless, I resolved to never, under any circumstances, allow my dark past to come to light. The mere thought sent shivers down my spine, a cold tremour to the tips of my fingers and to the bottom of my toes. I might as well shrivel up and die.

What I did not take into account however, was Takanashi Rikka.

…

It was on a cloudy day, when the skies themselves roiled and fumed in silent storm. In the olden times, I took this as a sign that I was needed for the incoming tempest. Without an umbrella, I stared up at the sky and laughed thinking the awakened gods fought over my location. Even as the rain poured down and blinded me, the Hikigaya Hachiman of that time boasted and acted superior to all those around him.

Come to think of it, that last part hasn't changed much. Could it be that I was still Chuuni?

Terrifying.

Yet despite the fears, I knew that I was wholeheartedly disillusioned. My cynicism and sharp wit were proudly my greatest strengths – not some unknown power that would rise to the crisis of the world. The "monster of logic" had dominated for the year and a half since my graduation, and in the process, my previous illogical, hopeful, and utterly pathetic old self had been erased.

As long as I wasn't led on by a masterful fisherwoman, anyway. Curse these dead fish eyes!

Nonetheless, if it ever came to that again, I could proudly and confidently puff out my chest and say that I was no longer a Chuuni.

"Attention!"

My eyes gradually refocused on Hiratsuka-sensei. Her make-up was flamboyant as always, as if her outer appearance could change her biology. Her long lab coat stayed the same though, and from my vantage point, I could see that her well-painted nails were bitten down to uneven curves. Hadn't she been invited to a wedding the other day?

Really, someone please take her already.

"Ahem!" Hiratsuka-sensei said. "I would like to inform you that we will have a transfer student entering this class. She was previously expelled from her former high school for… unsavoury actions, but please get along with her."

In other words, a delinquent. A riajuu bitch as well – what other "unsavoury" acts can you do to get yourself expelled? The new student tooootally knocked up their entire soccer team.

Hiratsuka-sensei waved at the door. "Come in, introduce yourself."

The collective gaze of the classroom fell onto the one newcomer; she was a girl, and a short one at that. She had barely shoulder-length dark hair with a slight purplish tinge, and a bright yellow ribbon that tied up a tiny side-ponytail. Over one eye was an eyepatch, and her most peculiar feature was a strand of hair that distinctly stood up, seemingly of its own will. Where had I seen that before?

"Yo!" Tobe shouted.

The class erupted in cheers, led by Tobe and Tobe alone. Wait that wasn't a class, was it? Tobe was in a class of his own though, so in a sense, it was his class that cheered.

Hayato good-heartedly joined in the welcome, and clapped his applause. Naturally, the rest of the class followed suit. Even my own hands twitched against my will.

Could it be? A hidden power, come to light, prompted by the magic of the riajuu zone?

No. Don't even joke about that. Chuunibyou is forbidden.

The new girl raised her chin and looked down authoritatively at the class. At this, Hayato fell into silence, as did Tobe.

"I am the Tyrant's Eye!" the girl declared.

It's a nut. A complete and utter nut.

"User of the Devilish Truth Stare!" she continued.

Ah what was the word? It was just on the tip of my tongue and had something to do with physical education. What was it again?

Right – Chuunibyou. This girl had Chuunibyou. In that case, she'd get along great with Zaimokuza. Maybe I should introduce them later; she's bound to be like I was and reject everyone around me in an attempt to segregate myself in case of the war of the worlds that would…

Time to commit seppuku.

Hiratsuka-sensei grimaced. Her fists balled up, and that facial expression started to get strangely familiar. My sides instinctively braced for impact; just what was she planning to do to this new (idiot) student?

The Chuuni's eyes widened. Just wait a moment; was she already aware of Hiratsuka-sensei's _abuse_? In a voice that could hardly be compared to her previous bravado, the new student conceded.

"M-my reincarnated alias goes by the name of… Takanashi Rikka."

Takanashi was unexpectedly weak underneath her veil of Chuunibyou. How exactly had she enticed others as a succubus?

Rather, it was more likely that as a result of Chuunibyou, Takanashi decided to run onto the roof and shout some stupid phrase to strike fear into her enemies and intimidate all those that opposed her, and then threatened an "enemy organization" with eternal damnation. That… may or may not have happened once to my sister's father's spouse's husband's mother's daughter-in-law's son.

What people didn't know couldn't kill them.

On the other hand, if they did… I think I certainly could kill myself. If not that, I could at least manage to writhe and struggle on the ground.

"And there you have it," Hiratsuka-sensei cut in. "Please treat Takanashi-kun well from now on."

Takanashi glanced around the room and stopped at me.

Oi oi, is my Stealth Hikki not working? Did I need to go through a time skip and film a training montage in order to retrain in the 108 skills of a loner?

Hiratsuka-sensei points at me. "You can sit behind Hikigaya-kun," she said. "Isshin-kun, please move to the back."

A number of people looked my way, with expressions of confusion on their face. Strangely enough, there were a few who recognized me, and stared with contempt. Could it be? Did I become… popular?

Mom, dad… Komachi, I've finally become popular! Teehee~! At this rate, I'll become a riajuu with a harem!

Or not.

Infamous was probably closer to the truth. After the cultural festival, people reacted with disgust in regards to my name, rather than the customary ignorance.

Takanashi trotted towards her desk, and paused before me. She turned her head slowly, ever so slowly, and gazed into my eyes.

What is it woman?

"… What do you want?"

"So we finally meet," Takanashi said.

I stared. This was certainly, without a doubt, Chuunibyou. I remembered it like it was yesterday: the time when I spoke of unclear illusions while thinking myself superior to all those who couldn't grasp the mythos I created.

For example, my name was used as one point of superiority; Hikigaya was an uncommon name, as was Hachiman. At one point, just like a true Chuuni, I had endeavored in the thought that it meant I was special. I was not one of the ordinary folk – I was Hikigaya Hachiman. That, I had believed, meant something. Of course, it didn't. There were loads of odd names, like "Batman Bin Suparman", or "Fire Penguin Disco Panda" but that didn't mean they were anything special.

Rather, what did names mean when you could legally change your own name once you become independent? Virtually nothing. With the power of the ability to change my name, I could very well become "Yukinoshita Hachiman" or anything along that vein; something so easily modified shouldn't have such a weight behind it to decide one's fate.

Takanashi flinched back, and threw her arm up to her eyepatch. A medical issue? Or just Chuunibyou?

"My eye!"

Takanashi's spare arm flailed wildly. Oi, this was all an act right?

Takanashi hunched forward in her spasm. "My eye! It resonates!"

Yep, definitely Chuunibyou. Why did I even bother?

"Hikigaya-kun, do you know her?" Hiratsuka-sensei asked, with a grin on her face.

"No," I deadpanned. "I've never met her before."

"For eons I have searched this sphere… only to meet you," the Chuuni continued.

Takanashi visibly shook under the mimed pain of her eye's "resonations". Damn good acting though, much better than mine during my Chuunibyou years.

"Ehhhh?" someone familiar cried out. "Was that a confession? That was a confession wasn't it?"

"What?"

This was Chuunibyou, clear and simple. Chuu-ni-byou, woman. Nothing less, and nothing more.

"My eye! My eye!" Takanashi squealed, and over dramatically fell to a crouch.

I glanced down at her quivering face as she turned her head to look back at me.

"My eye…" she repeated it one last time, weak as a puppy.

Did it actually hurt? That eyepatch probably locked in moisture that led to an infection. No matter the effect, I knew that the cause was definitely Chuunibyou. Takanashi might even be worse than Zaimokuza; even under threat of **death** , she still believed in her fantasies.

Hiratsuka-sensei sighed. "Hikigaya-kun, please take her to the nurse's office."

I opened my mouth to voice a complaint, but I noticed a certain someone's fists were balled up. Truly terrifying. Even if she was a great teacher by all other qualifications, wasn't physical violence just a little too far?

"Fine," I grunted.

I stood, and Takanashi followed with no complaints. In the hallway, it dawned upon me, the realization.

Though she was entirely unfit mentally, this Chuuni would be, by most standards, cute. Was this a flag? Did the god of rom-coms decide to drop a path into my life?

I glanced back at the girl behind me, who muttered something about an "organization" and their magical tampering. One of her hands clutched her eye, whereas the other constantly wavered back and forth between her leg and waist, as if she wanted to grab at something, but thought better of it.

But romantic comedies were things limited to the world of trashy light novels and fiction, no matter how far the similarities ran.

More importantly, no matter how cute she was, this girl was unstable. A Chuuni more Chuuni than the one nicknamed "Chuuni". There was no way, none at all, that Takanashi could ever hold affection for someone like me; that earlier act was done out of convenience due to Hiratsuka-sensei using my name. The association between my seat and hers was utilized.

That's right – I don't have any friends. My recent (in)famousness must've gotten to me, which would explain my mulfunctioning skills and unusual donkan attitude.

In the short four minutes it had taken to move to the Nurse's Office, Takanashi, that hopeless Chuuni, had never taken her hand off her eyepatch. I slid open the door, and glanced around.

The nurse wasn't there.

Strike two for a second flag. Alone in the nurses room with beds! How scandalous!

Because of course something would happen in a room made for the well-being of the students, with medical remedies safely stored and categorized. How had that association, between romance and nursing rooms, come to be?

"Sit down," I said. "We'll wait here for the nurse to come back."

Takanashi obeyed like a dog, and finally took her hand off her eye. She kicked her legs idly, as if bored.

I slumped down opposite her, and fiddled with one of the displays: a glass eye.

"So why did you say your eye resonated?" I tried.

It was a bad idea to get involved with this girl, but if I didn't completely and utterly break her involvement with me, then she might misunderstand and come back to haunt me. To let her know that I wasn't "like" her, so to speak, and thus have Takanashi leave me out of her delusions.

"The Tyrant's Eye took notice once you entered into its field of perception," Takanashi said. "Yes – we have met before, in ages long since passed. I awaited my opportunity to make my presence known, for together our power is great enough to defeat the organization once and for all."

Chuunibyou was Chuunibyou. Still, this was within the scope of (torture) experience I'd gained from Zaimokuza, so I prompted her to continue without listening.

"The Tyrant's Eye gains its potency by controlling the strength of darkness with a pure heart. It was truly fortunate that I managed to discover you once more – the organization has grown strong enough to endanger my existence."

Threaten her life? The power gained through the combination of light and dark? An evil organization? Why was this all strangely familiar… oh right, those were all major plot points in Zaimokuza's last "manuscript". There were also entirely unnecessary developments of "accidental" peeping on various members of the female harem, as was his standard. Ah, just thinking of that makes me tired…

"I was nearly caught in a trap by the organization. You would do your best not to as well, _reincarnation of the Nameless Absent God, Hikigaya Hachiman_."

The glass eye slipped from my fingers, and shattered into an infinite number of luminescent shards.

"What did you just say?"

* * *

 **This might become a multi-chapter fic? I wonder.**

 **Anyhow, as you can probably guess, this is a crossover with the alternate version of the Anime's variation of Chuunibyou demo Koi ga Shitai, in which Rikka doesn't meet Yuuta and instead is forced to transfer to another school after performing a "ritual" that... I'm not going to finish that sentence.**

 **Hikigaya's Chuunibyou years are never really touched on after his initial meeting with Zaimokuza though.  
** **What a shame.**

 **And as per the norm, the characters are out of character.**


End file.
